Today’s issue is about being classy with your invites. We already know that there are so many things out there that we may want for the wedding or for our futures. Sometimes the traditional gift is not what we want. Who wants another toaster, or another set of towels. You already have two households that you are combining into one. That’s already two different color schemes and towels, a compromise can surely be found with the towels or sofas. Everything will surely not be thrown out when you move into one house (although ladies, sometimes the majority of the stuff that they bring, surely should not only be thrown in the trash but actually burnt. Live fire, Melissa McCarthy in Life of the Party style). 

The solution that has been the latest trend is, “keep your gift, just give me the money', (thanks Pink!). The sad fact is, many brides want to include this on the invitation. A big NO NO. Not only is it tacky, it makes you look like a beggar. In a recent article on Brides.com, it highlighted a bride that took it an extra step and canceled her wedding because she asked each of the attendees for a whopping $1500 per person. Like, she seriously wanted the guests to pay for her wedding because her dream wedding cost upwards of $60,000 CAD. She and the intended groom had a son. After a while even he thought that the request was insane, and when he agreed with the guests that invitees that basically said “Hell-to-the-NO” (and that she was insane), she got mad and literally called off the wedding ladies (read the full article here). Bear in mind, they have a son together. Maybe it was for the best...who knows?

I digress, but you see how it would seem like, (in the terms of my grandmother) “you are helping up yourself” with things you can’t afford. Basically asking for them to pay your way through your wedding. Especially when there are stipulations on the amounts that will be accepted. So back to my original reason for this piece. It is acceptable to want monetary gifts, or that you have a gift registry or maybe you’ve even scored coupons that will save guests some funds. Never, ever, include this on your invitations. There are so many beautiful types of invitations and weddings are usually classy, emulating your style. The whole excitement and perception of receiving the invitation is changed when we start asking for monetary gifts in the very same thing that we say “you are cordially invited to”. It is like we are saying, you are invited and by the way, we want some of your money. Not your gift, because we may not like your taste.  Or, you can come, but make sure you bring some money. You get what I mean right?

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Tacky.

Of course, there are ways to be cute and clean about it. Some of the masters of wedding planning in The Association of Bridal Consultants suggest that it is better to have a specified space where your invitees can get additional information about the wedding. If you haven’t a website, maybe you have the emails of all your attendees. Create a nice single sheet and send them what you can call a wedding newsletter. It would be so fun for them because here, you can include places where your out of towners can stay, coupons for hotels, your gift registry (if you do have one), and of course, your preference of money over gifts. Your guest would enjoy this because they are invited and feel like this is something only the persons who have agreed to come are privileged to obtain. It also leaves the choice of bringing a gift or giving money completely up to them. Check out this wonderful list of places where you can create a monetary donation wedding/honeymoon registry compiled by Brides.com here.