It’s been awhile family. The years are catching up to me. I saw an interesting post on Facebook the other day about how different your body responds when you are in your twenties than in your thirties. Listen, I fell in the shower (more like bust my ass in the shower) and I am in my thirties. I can remember the times I fell over my bicycle head first and were not affected. There was also a time I fell out of a tree face first (very long story) and was up and going in less than 10 mins. But, a fall in the shower in my thirties… I now have weekly scheduled visits with my chiropractor to realign my spine. So I was out of commission for a bit – seriously, it was like I was the poster girl for Khia’s song, without the pleasurable bits… my neck, my back..

But, here we are again, and I am so sorry for leaving you hanging without closing this series on invitations. So let’s get into it.  We had a lot to say about deciding who we are going invite and knowing when to draw the line with mom. We talked about what to include and what not to include on the invitation. But we haven’t actually talked about sending out the invitation. Now, why should there be any drama about that?

You would think that sending out an invitation is simple. The number of guests was decided long ago, and invitations ordered either via online do-it-yourself invitation builders or an invitation company. Now it is two to four months before the wedding and it’s time to send out the actual invitation. So, it is simple - write the guest name and address and post – what’s so hard about that?

No drama to speak of right? Well, a bride forum that I follow (written by real brides-to-be) opened my eyes to this new system. Many brides track their invitations using a numbered RSVP card system. I thought wow, this can be pretty efficient. Imagine it for a minute, you already have your guests numbered anyway, why not the number the RSVP card in the invitation? This number corresponds to the guest name. When RSVP cards come in, you already know who sent the cards. Trust me, there is always that special somebody, that one person who is so excited to accept your invite that they check the “yes we will attend” box without filling out the Mr /Mrs/Miss line to say who they are.

However, some brides take it a step further and have two lists, one that they call an “A” list and “B” list. Now, as I alluded to before, this can lead to DRAMA (please read as if I am snapping my fingers and twirling my neck). Can you imagine the fallout?

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The comments about the fallout when this was first introduced were astronomical. “I was number 122 on your list? Out of 150? I thought we were closer than that! Sorry I won’t be attending.” Not only that, but, now the friendship is affected or if it was family, a rift in the family. Not to mention the persons with the numbers on the “B” list. Even worse.

Luckily, as this idea developed and took root. Most brides state that they found it to be most helpful when managing their guest list and invitations. And this is how. They used, wait for it… invisible ink (available at a Walmart or Target near you). Now, this is not some episode of science fiction. Even I (wedding planner extraordinaire) was skeptical. Who knew that they sold pens that can to do this?

Totally awesome because, if you are not aware that this ink is on a card, you wouldn’t be able to know where to look. And let’s think of the list now. The number of invitations ordered would have included a few extras to make allowances for list “B”. Once the responses start to come in, it is easy to track who will be able to come and who will not, allowing for the next wave of invitations to be sent out. The “B” listers that didn’t make the cut for the “A” list (first invitation wave), now get a chance to be invited. 

That sounds so daunting. Let’s say instead, the persons whom the bride and groom really want to attend from the second list can now get the second wave of invitations. But this is only for the scenario when there is a lot of people to choose from. As a wedding planner (and please pardon me if I made it sound icky), I can see the advantage to this system. Coming from a big family myself, there are still family members who are upset about my wedding (seven years later). It is hard to choose who comes and who doesn’t, so it can be a huge relief to know that some other persons who you feel close to can now come. I am also concerned about the two lists though. If is it just a few friends then I understand, but a whole other list?

What are your thoughts? How are you handling your invitations and RSVPs? Please discuss…inquiring minds want to know 😉

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